Notes from Jan

Love Matters

February 14, 2020

Wonder what Saint Valentine think’s of his day?

A column in today’s Globe by Renee Loth posed a question,”Does love belong in the classroom?”   About half our states  mandate sex education, “primarily focused on disaster preparedness, largely avoiding pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease.”  But where do young adults learn about love? Well, we might stiffen our spines, jut out our chins and utter, “in the family.”

Harvard professor, Richard Weissbourd, discovered 70% of young adults ages 18-25 ” wish they’d learned more from their parents about what it takes to have a healthy romantic relationship and 65% want it taught in school.”   He went on to say “we have a huge industry focused on preparing young people for work but we offer almost nothing to prepare them for the tender, generous, disciplined work of how to love and be loved.”

Thomas Edison said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”   This can be true of missing the opportunity for real love. Our culture’s marketed doctored images of perfection on screens, and sold trinkets as symbols of love. No wonder young adults are confused about true love. It’s neither blind and certainly not,  “never having to say your’re sorry.”  Remember that movie, Love Story?

The article reminds us, “love education is closely linked with moral and ethical values that inform every human interaction, not just romantic.”

On this day that celebrates romantic love and raises Hallmark’s stock,  I’m reminded of Proverbs 4:23″Above all else, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life.”

Perhaps part of guarding is teaching kindness, respect,  gratitude, honesty versus truthiness,  for starters.  After Daddy’s death, Mama spoke truth from her heart to mine, “Life’s short.  Never miss a chance to sit close”  “Tink” about it.

On a practical level I read, “high heels were invented by a woman who’d been kissed on the forehead.”(Christopher Morley)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love matters.

 

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11 Comments

  • Reply Sue Andringa February 14, 2020 at 2:27 pm

    I “tink” this is wonderful! Love and hugs, Sue

    • Reply Jan Carlberg February 14, 2020 at 3:28 pm

      Just re-read what I’d written and noticed several punctuation mistakes. Apparently, even writing about love can make one error prone.
      Wishing you and Bob a day worth remembering

      • Reply James B Griffin February 14, 2020 at 4:51 pm

        I won’t mark it up.

        • Reply Jan Carlberg February 15, 2020 at 12:23 pm

          “Tanks”, James. How fun to hear from you. Thank you for reading the post and responding.

  • Reply Randall Mathews February 14, 2020 at 2:41 pm

    I also “tink” that love matters!!

    • Reply Jan Carlberg February 14, 2020 at 3:33 pm

      Good “tinking,” Randy.
      You and Alice are missed in these parts. I read in one form or another, “Love doesn’t make the world go round but it makes the journey more fun.”

  • Reply Dale February 15, 2020 at 8:03 am

    Our 22 y.o. granddaughter is living with us while doing an internship. We are having good conversations, but what she doesn’t know about life and love is concerning. Of course, I was a genius at her age and married at 23!
    Blessings, Dale

    • Reply Jan Carlberg February 15, 2020 at 12:25 pm

      You grew up in Pennsylvania Dutch country, so know the saying, “Too soon old, too late smart.” True for most of us.

  • Reply wendy lane February 15, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Such good thoughts dear Jan! I especially was moved by Professor Robert’s words “”we have a huge industry focused on preparing young people for work but we offer almost nothing to prepare them for the tender, generous, disciplined work of how to love and be loved.” It’s sobering to think of the state of the family these days, for truly that is where children learn so much… and most of it is “caught” not “taught” – right?!

    • Reply Jan Carlberg February 15, 2020 at 5:24 pm

      Yes, we need both, Wendy. I, too, found the professor’s words sobering.
      Wondering what to do as a grandmother.

  • Reply Julie February 18, 2020 at 6:44 pm

    Hi Jan, I loved your mother’s advice – life’s short, never miss a chance to sit close. What lovely advice that I hope to remember. Hope you are well!

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